I have had a strange compulsion at times to make fun of self-help books, their authors, and their readers. Because I am also an occasional self-help book reader, this means that I am in effect making fun of myself. Recently, I re-read, “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway” by Susan Jeffers, which is an invaluable resource for those wishing to make positive changes in their lives.

The first time I read “Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway”, I was a recent college graduate with what seemed like the perfect job from the outside, but wasn’t. I envied my friends who had traveled and had dreams of extending myself past my limitations (which I set for myself).

I struggled with the lessons in the book because I was too young and didn’t have enough perspective or experience to learn from my mistakes. Looking back at that time, and re-reading this book, I see some things that I could have done differently to help me reach my goals sooner.

Here are some of the more valuable lessons from the book that would have helped me in the past and probably will help me in the future.

By not making a decision to move forward, you are actually making a decision. When you have been confronted by something that needs change in your life, it’s up to you to be pro-active about changing things. The first step is changing how you think. Susan Jeffers offers positive steps for making a decision and moving forward without regret.

Listen to your higher self and trust your instincts. Most of us know what we want out of life, but are too scared to trust our intuition or our impulses. Learning to recognize what you really want is important so that you can move forward.

Fill the inner void. If your life is incomplete, you need to fill it up with different things to keep yourself busy and your heart full. I remember that this was one of the things I learned at my college orientation, and it has taken me a long time to come closer to this goal.

Choose love and respect. Learning how to give for its own intrinsic reward is a valuable step forward in erasing fears and learning how to love.

Don’t blame others for not moving forward in your life. By holding yourself responsible for your achievements and goals,  you have more power to change things in your own life.